a horizon

yep, it's becoming on of those times when i can say things are really....well, coming along alright.

those paths that you thought were for greater men..well it's an overwelming prospect to think that you should find yourseld treding that same path. ..or atleast atempting. i think i wake up 95% - 98% of my mornings thinking of how far i've come. as a person, a girl(or woman but i don't think i'm ready for that title just yet), and state of mind...my morals which are always forcing me to choose the later road no matter how rocky the ...foot..work? uhmm.....anyways. it seems to be my lot in life to always try to better myself....
i've had the great privilege to have been taught or been surrounded by some of the greatest minds of the everyday and beyond life. those people shape my way of thinking that seems to never end.....it's funny but even now i think, "i wonder what person i'm going to meet next?" " how will they influence me?" "will it be for good ...or for evil?" " or will it phase into those gray matters that we dare not venture into?"
for sometime i thought of people as information that in someway can get me closer to that "better" self. i know of my damons and insecurities.. those things that make you hardly face yourself....i suppose that in some light like all people i fear myself. those great powers that i posses for great good or great evil. it's natural thing i suppose....but should a child fear such things? should they be aware of such dangerous and cautionary road blocks? i'm not sure in the sense that all people are different and who really knows. however, i can only.....
for almost really..all my life i've had a sense of self based on..things i've seen, things..that i admire..words, i've read but i noticed that in my mind ihad an idea of what i think i appear as. but it seems that even as i get older. i still feel like i'm reaquainting myself with my face and appear everytime i look in the mirror. my projection of myself isn't exactly worped. it's more like i have a sense in a more sensation..or thoughts of myself. the person i think i am...is usually a bit diferent than what i actually come out to be.
i guess that i still have more to work on as does anyone i suppose. the working towards that "better" self..it's pretty funny. but i can say that everyday i keep the memory of what i look like in my head the moe in someway i'm not surprised by what i see in the mirror. and i'm becoming to associate myself with "myself" more and find that self to be the self that i imagine to be.

so i suppose every morning i wake up.. thinking 95%- 98% on my purpose and what is that is....i guess sooner or later who i am on't be in the conversation.